How I Met Finale So Absurd It Made Me LAMENT OVER MY SOUL

Okay, so yeah, we’ve all seen it, we all have our thoughts on it … so I’m here to share mine. Long-awaited ending of the up-and-down show called “How I Banged Half the New York City Before Meeting Your Mom” is here. In all it’s glory … and stuff. 

I enjoyed majority of the 9th season. Not all of it by the long shot, but it had its moments. I really liked Robin and Barney and felt as both their characters had finally reached a point where they can be happy. Noup. 

I really liked Tracy. She was this ominous mystery haunting the TV audience for the past nine years and now we’ve got a chance to dwell into her character, to meet her, fall in love with her and see her make Ted happy ever after. Noup. 

After suffering through some really bad moments over the course of nine seasons, some which made me personally pause HIMYM for two season at one point, I was really happy they’ll finally wrap it up with goodbyes and tears and make us happy all over again. Noup. 

 

Hey, remember how, throughout the 9 seasons, they kept reminding us how destiny, fate and magic encounters are possible and how happiness is there if we stick through the bumps along the road? Yeah, great way to contradict their entire show. Great. Fucking. Way. Alas, the range ensued. 

Finale sucked. There are no ways to use words ‘fuck’ ‘suck’ ‘killed’ ‘shitied up’ ‘vomited upon’ ‘analized itself’ in one, coherent sentence to properly describe just how bad this finale was. I’ve seen my share of bad finales, but damn … this one took it to a whole ‘nother level. I won’t go into details of the ‘what the fucking fuck of fucking fucks’ moments of the finale so let me just shit it out in a nutshell.

A great fucking deal of this majestic fuckfest called 9th season was spent developing Barney/Robin (well, 22 fucking episodes are about their fucking weeding and that weekend; literally, 22 fucking episodes for 3 days. Go fuck yourself), showing how Ted is over Robin and developing his future relationship with Tracy (the Mother) and Tracy herself. We all expected it: Barney and Robin adopt some black kid and call him LeBron or some Canadian name, that moment when Ted first speaks to Tracy and they swoon each other beyond fucks, one last scene when everyone gathers with their kids in that fucking bar of theirs and have a drink and the end. But hell the fuck no. I wrote a post about HIMYM awhile ago stating that I don’t think the show’s as funny as people make it out to be. I stand by it even now, but 9th season did show some of that potential from way aback (1, 2 and maybe 3rd season). But nope. Tracy dies, Robin and Barney get a divorce (which, quite literally, made less sense than ‘The Room’), Ted informs us that he told this entire fucking clustershit of fucking batshit ‘what the fuck’ stories just so he can ask the permission from his kids to go and bang Robin, girl that duped him more time through 9 years than all other living and dead things combined, a girl who married his best friend, who all of a sudden became a totally job-obsessed bitch for the convenience of the plot, a girl who quite literally has less to her both in looks and personality than half the girls he dated through his life … you see where I’m going with this. 

I’m not really mad that they ended it this way, it’s just … bad writing, bad planning and shit. I get that they created this scene way back in the 1st season and it would have been fine if it happened, let’s say, in 2nd season? But with a gap of eight fucking years, this shit makes as much sense as Shakespeare. We went from 2015 to 2020 in literally 20 minutes, which a batshit events occurring in a meanwhile that should have been properly explained .. but fuck that. I bet even writers/producers realized that this ending makes god-abiding, nature-resolving, absolute zero sense and were just too lazy and hung over the fuck their shit is over that they didn’t want to create the ending that is appropriate for the 9 years this shit has been running. Nope. Just. Fucking. No. 

I won’t actually be surprised if they create alternative ending … because this one fucking sucks .. 

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