We all love them from time to time – even those hopeless romantics who wait in anguish for months until a new romantic comedy comes out sometimes just get tired of those and venture into the realm of insanity, improbability and … flashiness! This is my first Top 10 list and I might do another one sometime soon (regarding Anime that time around), but for now let’s focus on this one. What I want you to remember is that these are my options and picks and are in no way absolute or perfect. It might happen that I’ve actually forgotten a few of the flashy moves from movies so do forgive me, but what’s there’s there. Let’s start.
10. The Avengers (2012) – final battle
I’ll be honest here – I didn’t like the movie that much. However, those last 15 minutes were a strike of gold for my inner child. Watching childhood superheroes duck it out against space invaders all in one spot was a great rush of envy. It was flashy, it was impossible, and it caught my eye. I wished Thor had played bigger role instead of just firing off one thunder strike but hey, it either has to be Ironman or Cpt. ‘Murica that saves the day – I completely understand that. After all, what gods have on us, Humans? Aye!
9. The Lord of the Rings – Helms Deep siege
Out of all battles in LOTR, this one’s my favorite – and probably the favorite of many. It has everything – epic scale, horses, swords and shields and bows and Gandalf riding through the light of the sun to vanquish the foes. I was 14 when I first watched this and I was hugging my pillow so tightly it almost burst out in feathers. I simply sat in front of my TV in awe and asking myself how many people participated in this. Even until this day, Helms Deep remains as one of my favorite and dearest moments from movies and it leaves me in awe each time I watch it. Damn it Legolas.
8. Pacific Rim – EVERYTHING
Be frank – you squealed. It’s okay, we all have. There’s nothing smart about Pacific Rim – absolutely nothing. Story is cliched, characters are standard stereotypes, setting is just silly (yes I used that word, get over it) but holy mother of fucking robots does that even matter? I mean, watching giant fucking robots fighting giant fucking monsters … DO YOU NEED ANYTHING ELSE?! NO! It was so awesome that my eyes became rocket launchers after seeing this movie! Everything about this movie is dumb – but it wakes up that boy (or a girl) inside of you and makes you go “WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH” more than once. And goddamit it deserves place in any list about battles.
7. Troy – Hector VS Achilles
Now, it may not be as flashy and squeally as Pacific Rim, but hell was it suspenseful. Seeing two warriors of almost equal skill battle it out only with a pair of shields and swords with an entire Kingdom carefully watching, sighing at each strike of a sword, your eyes were glued to the screen. And the scene that followed was also quite amazing, but let’s leave the spoilers out of this (Although I doubt there are a lot of people out there that didn’t watch Troy). It’s a down to earth kind of a duel, but still somehow epic to watch. Quite memorable and well deserving of its place on this list.
6. 300 – ABS!!!
Full of filters, full of “Nope, just nope” moments, full of abs, some titties, full of blood and just guys itching it off. 300 didn’t bring any revolution to the cinema when it comes to slow-mo battles, but hell it did it greatly. Don’t lie, you enjoyed seeing sword splice up the foe in slow mo with blood spurring out in an unrealistic way. It’s okay, we all did. “TONIGHT … WE DINE IN HELL!” I still shout that whenever I visit my aunt. 300 is something like Pacific Rim – only without robots and monsters. Nothing makes sense, but you still feel constant adrenaline rush and a boner throughout the duration of the movie. It’s epic, it’s bloody, it’s senseless, and I fucking love the battles.
5. Avatar: The Last Airbender – Last Fight (Aang vs Ozai / Azula vs Zuko)
Holy fuck man I had to include this. I know, I know … it’s a cartoon, it’s easier to make unrealistic epic battles etc. but this one goes well beyond that. It’s just so majorly-fucking-epic that you can’t pass this one. Two, yes, TWO, HOLY WHAT DA FUCK DID HE JUST DO battles happen over the course of 2 last episodes and you’re just sitting there, breathless, watching fire, water, lighting, earth, air and stuff fly around and you just … you cry. It’s that freaking good! No, seriously guys. You have to watch it. Even if you don’t want to drag yourself over the course of 3 seasons (you should), you can just Youtube – Azula vs Zuko last fight and Aang Vs Firelord Ozai. Just watch, shh, and MY CABBAGES!
4. Star Wars: Luke vs Darth Vader
Come on guys, be realistic here … yeah, there were some other amazing battles in Star Wars franchise, but this one’s by far the greatest. Not because of its huge scale or anything, but simply because of the context. Now, unlike majority of Star Wars fan, have first watched prequels (because, well, Star Wars 1, 2, 3 and shit …) so I saw the twist coming, but I can only imagine how it must have felt for those that didn’t. Plus, the battle in itself is quite great; it’s one of the rare, few moments in the originals where you get lightsaber battles, and I’m all for it. It’s definitely one of the most memorable moments in cinema history and will probably remain as such for quite some time.
3. Matrix – Neo vs. Agent Smith
Come on. It’s a fucking “Matrix” – it’s gotta have spot. Honestly, it’s hard for me to choose which battle I like the most, one 1v1 or 1vs what the fuck is that number battle. Either way, both are extremely well done, although the second one was a clear copy of Dragon Ball battle but who gives a fuck, it was flashy. I love Matrix and, honestly, I don’t think that 2nd and 3rd movie are THAT bad. They are still bad nonetheless. However, when we are talking about flashy battles, you’ve gotta include its father – Matrix. You just gotta mate. No other way.
2. Final Fantasy VII – Advent Children – Cloud vs Sephiroth
I HAD TO, OKAY? DEAL WITH IT! Look, if you haven’t seen this movie, don’t judge, but go and see it. Yeah, it’s another “cartoon”, but that don’t matter. For any fan of Final Fantasy out there, the battle between Cloud and holy fuck this dude’s awesome Sephiroth was the epitome of what they could expect. Yeah, Final Fantasy movie doesn’t deliver that much of an amazing story, but it delivers amazing visuals and amazing final battle. Honestly, though, this is mostly just a personal preference; you’ll rarely find this movie in any of the top 10 battle lists (may it be cartoon, anime or cinema), but I had to include it. I just had to. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’m gonna go and rip off my Cloud poster because he didn’t deserve to win that battle. Oops, spoiler …
1. Now for the number one
I had really thought about this one – a lot. The number one spot has shifted throughout (at one point I even thought about including the Avatar’s battles – I know! I’m a moron!) but there was always that one battle that has danced in my mind, tempting me. And, what can I say … I was tempted enough. I just want to remind you that this is a personal list (as you can see from a lot of these entries), so the number one may piss you off. Just a fair writer-to-reader warning.
The Battle of Pelennor Fields
Come on, what did you expect? Of course it’s gonna be The Battle of Pelennor Fields (or, as maybe better known, The Battle for Gondor), Lord of the Rings. For fucks sake, it has huge elephants, Legolas sniping shit off, the Army of the Undead and so on. Yes, Helm’s Deep is my favorite LOTR battle, but this one is the most epic one without a doubt. It can be even said that it’s boundless in the scale of epicness. It’s just so fucking huge and great and … just … epic. No other word.
As you may have noticed, there are no machinery wars, or battles many consider to be amazing (Private Ryan etc.), and that’s because I hugely prefer swords/fantasy over real war. Again, it’s just a personal preference. In the end, here are some honorable mentions that didn’t make it on the list:
– “Underworld”, “The Last Samurai”, “Terminator: Judgement Day”, “Aliens”, “The Chronicles of Narnia”
Hope you enjoyed the list. Till the next time.