Fifty shades of —- SHUT THE FUCK UP!

"World wide phenomenon" yeah ... ok.
“World wide phenomenon” yeah … ok.

Fifty. Shades. Of. MR. I’m AWESOME! !!

I have to do it. It’s just fucking stronger than me. There’s this voice inside my head that keeps reminding me that it exists. Now, I just might be fucking schizophrenic, but let’s just say that it’s a random sub-conscious voice and move on like adults. Did I watch the movie? Not really. Will I? Yeah, probably, just ‘cause the chick is kind of hot and I wanna see her naked. Actually, nah, I won’t watch it. There are fucking celebrity porn sites where I can watch that shit for free and save myself the rest of the movie.

According to IMDB rating and reviews, this movie fucking sucks. And I’m not surprised really. Every time a fan-fiction-like-published-book gets a movie adaptation, you know it’s going to fucking suck. Yet, for some reason, people keep watching it. Are they unaware that paying to watch it actually helps the movie rather than demean it? I’m not really sure anymore. Because, yesterday, I was passing by my local cinema and there’s this whole fucking row that goes outside in a ticket-line. I asked some random girl what movie are they seeing and they said ‘FSOG’ without hesitation. It’s just soft porn guys. Literally. If you’ve ever had a channel called “TV 1000” and turned it on past 12, it’s like fifty shades of gay all over the place. Well, gray, gay, whatever. Ah, no. People are easily offended. GREY’S GOT NOTHIN’ ON YOU HOMO DUDE! Rock on!

Personally, I rarely go and watch movies in cinema anymore – unless I’m actually excited about it. I either wait for it on TV or Netflix or some other shit. I’ve sort of grown to be desensitized to bad movies/games/books/music etc. and, honestly, I don’t have any problem watching a shitty movie. It just gives me more material to make stupid jokes that even my brain ain’t capable of understanding. What I do mind, though, is when people bitch about how some shitty movie made a shitton at box office while standing in line to buy a ticket for that very movie. It’s not that it’s hypocritical or something that deep and elaborate – it’s just fucking stupid. It’d be the same as if you suddenly decided that ‘Jack Daniels’ fucking sucks, and complain to your friends how it’s over-priced, unworthy of the name etc., while getting drunk drinking it. It’s just plain fucking stupid.

I don’t consider “I’m curious because everyone says it’s bad” to be a relevant and actual reason to go see a movie. I consider “Oh, there’s cinema. I’ve got extra 20$. I’ll pick a movie on random” to be more of a reason to see a movie. It’s just my mentality, really, and it’s not like I’ve got a personal issue with these people – like I fucking care whether FSOG is a hit at box office or not – but rather their sheer stupidity when they tweet some shit like: “THIS MOVIE SO BAD YOU GOTTA WATCH IT WITH YOUR OWN EYES TO SEE HOW BAD IT IS” – that don’t make any fucking sense homie.

Yesterday I watched JFK’s news where they discussed all these Fifty Shades of brands and it blew my fucking mind. And it’s the things that have literally nothing to do with the actual movie or book, and are just selling off of the brand – like a fucking teddy bear, or a fucking cookbook. It just boggles my mind that things can widespread that fast – faster than the fucking forest fire – while people constantly bitch about how bad it is. Then why are all these things around? It’s because they’re selling. This digs deeper into psychological analysis of the self-awareness and consumption which I just don’t wanna fucking touch so I’ll leave it to your imagination.

Two posts within a day – fuck that, within an hour?!! WHAT YEAR IS DIS AND WHO DIS IS?!

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