Since I’ve already tackled the issue of what the fuck happened to one type of games, I figured why the fuck don’t I tackle the same issue but with different type of games? Brilliant! Sire, your laziness and lack of creativity knows no bounds! It’s infinite! Why, thank you … you’re making me blush! That wasn’t a compliment sire!
Putting my mental issues aside, I briefly looked at MMO’s in my last post, but this time around I’ll be pummeling them through and through, and by the time I’m done, they’ll look worse than Sasha’s vagina. I mean, I don’t wanna be mean or anything, but damn. That thing could swallow the sun by this point.
Note that I will mostly be talking about MMORPGs, with a slight chance of touching some others, but whatever. Like you care.
MMO’s hold a deep-rooted place in my cold heart. Way-back-when, on my first PC, sometime around 2005-2006 was the first time I booted up World of Warcraft and since then have fallen in love with this piece of shit of a genre. Since then, we’ve held this love-hate relationship, like those cunts in anime and manga, but we survive. Well, before I start bitching out like a teenage girl throwing a tantrum, let me list why I love MMO’s, specifically MMORPG’s.
Exploration, world, challenges, all things that encompass this massive adventure – they’re things I love in any type of the game. Throughout my life, I’ve probably played a good chunk that nears 50 MMORPG’s and let me tell you – 90% of them were a fucking failure on every conceivable level. Yet, I still played them. I loved the idea of exploring the world, finding these little things, grouping up to decimate unrelenting foes, this idea of you being a part of this massive world, doing shit you otherwise couldn’t even conceive … it just gives me a boner man. No shame in admitting that. Oi, fuck you! If grown men can jack off to fucking lolis, I can jack off to that!
Throughout MMORPG’s, I’ve formed countless friendships, met virtually hundreds of people, even met some of them in real life, and to this day I stay in contact with some of them. Near ten years later, I still remember some moments from my early WoW days, and I still hold them closer to my heart than my balls. It’s shivering, really, knowing that I’ll most-likely never experience that shit again because fucking dammit MMO’s have gone to shitters. And I mean deep, fifth-layer beneath hell shitters. Unconceivable shitters man.
So, now that I’ve shared my close (kind of disturbing really) relationship with MMO’s, allow me to let you know why I hate this genre so much I want to rape it over and over again until it starts shitting my cum. So, here it is: WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED TO MMO’S MAN?!!!!!!!!!
Recently, I’ve picked up Tera as my main MMO of the year. In the short 4 months I’ve played it, I’ve managed to get 5 characters to max level, gear out 2 of them, and have gotten so bored by playing the game I feel a need to vomit when someone asks me to run something with them. It’s cancer. It’s fucking cancer. For 80% of the game I felt like I was either playing with AI or just soloing the shit out of the game. When you can get a character from level 1 to level 65 in mere 13 fucking hours, you know you can say “FUCK YOU TO HELL WHORE” to the game and just drop the mic and walk away. What the fuck happened? Aren’t MMO’s supposed to be = MASSIVE MULTIPLAYER ONLINE GAMES?!!! In the last 20 MMO’s that I played, I never felt a need to whisper someone. I never ran into a random player and added him because the shit was too hard, or just ‘cause I fucking could. You might as well be playing solo-god simulator. Like holy shit.
A few days ago, I went on and downloaded WoW again, and decided to play on some random BC private server because it was my favorite expansion. About 5 hours in I’m level 12. Level. Fucking. 12. And that’s with x2 XP. Now, I don’t wanna be mean or anything, but why the fuck is leveling so sidelined it feels as if you’re that fat cheerleader no one really looks at but is accepted into the squad to promote equality? What’s even the fucking point of leveling? Most MMO’s are already selling max or near max level vouchers, so what’s the point? Just remove leveling altogether and let us all rejoice in that masterful endgame. Masterful my fucking ass. Endgame is either blatantly pointless and easy, or it’s locked behind countless hours of motherfucking grind. Why? No, seriously, why? Why should I play your MMORPG? Because it has next-gen action combat? No! Fuck you and your fucking combat! Take that combat of yours and shove it up your retarded fucking ass.
Next issue: exploration. What the fuck is that? That’s a word I haven’t heard in ages. Exploration. Why should you explore? Most MMO’s punish you for exploring. It’s like developers are saying fuck you and you’re willfully bending over like a dog. Everything is highlighted on the map. Quests, where to do those quests, where to turn in those quests … where is the sense of fucking adventure? Why am I, a single fuck in the world of fucks, able to solo a random mega-beast that’s been terrorizing the world? That doesn’t make any fucking sense! Why am I not allowed to get lost in the world and stumble upon some random shit and get some random fucking rewards for it? Why is everything so streamlined to the point where even open-world MMO’s feel like a single fucking road leading from start to finish? Que up for this, que up for that, teleport to this, teleport to that – no, you know what? Fuck you. Fuck you straight up your uncreative ass you little lazy fucks! Why create a large world if 90% of your playerbase won’t give a fuck because it’s obvious what you want them to do? Huh? Oh, fuck it. I give up. I don’t even care.
Speaking of not caring, how do you expect your player to care when it’s obvious you don’t? Every MMO you play feels the same. Kill wolves. Kill spiders. Gather herbs. Suck some dude’s dick for gold. Get a new spell every level even though the only thing you did was talk to random fucking people. Like, holy crap, what’s wrong with you guys? How does that give me a sense of progression? Oh, yeah, I learned that bee’s sting can extend my dick by 10 cm, DING, now I can cast spell that burns my enemies to ashes. WHAT THE FLYING FUCK?!!! At this point, just ask yourself: why even try? Honestly, when it comes to MMO’s, I’ve stopped trying. Especially MMORPG’s. With every new one, I give up on leveling halfway through because it’s more boring than wiping my ass with a bed of needles. You play for 5 hours, you’re level 35 with a bunch of random retarded spells, and you’re killing shit that’s slightly bigger than the shit you’ve been killing for the rest of the game. You’ve just defeated some huge tentacle monster, but the quest that gives the most XP is gathering plants for some random fuck in the middle of nowhere. You might as well walk to the edge of the random cliff and drop off, log out, delete your character and go ACTUALLY gather some plants from your garden, fry them and fucking eat them.
There are so many things wrong with MMORPG’s today it’s fucking embarrassing. People are wondering “hey, why are so many MMO’s shutting down recently?”. It’s because they fucking suck. They suck balls! Look at Archlord 2. That shit was cancer. Look at Echo of Souls. That shit was leukemia. Look at Forsaken World. That shit – wait, that thing’s still running? WHAT?! WHO THE HELL PLAYS THAT CRAP?!
Even better, look at the pioneer of the industry – World of Warcraft. Personally, I’ve dropped from WoW long time ago, but I still keep up with the news in hopes something’ll change. Nope. I’ve seen speedruns of leveling – it takes like a week of casual play to ding level 100 … like … what the hell. Why is leveling so suffocating? At this point I can’t even blame developers, so I’ll blame you fucks. People DEMANDED faster leveling for some reason. Are you fucks literally insane? I don’t give a flipping fuck how little time you have to play a game, but leveling should be an experience in itself. How many of you have ever read a single line of a single quest ever? 1%. Fucking 1% of you. So what if most MMO’s don’t have a story worth a fuck? That doesn’t mean that leveling can’t be compelling! Ah, fuck it. Enjoy your 50 maxed out characters while you roleplay as a jailbait chick willing to suck dick for 5g. Holy shit people …
So what if you reach endgame so fast you didn’t even feel leveling? So what? What happens after? You get into endgame dungeons and raids. SO WHAT?! That shit will dry out in weeks! You’ll have seen everything by the time you fry your balls because you don’t fucking deserve them! There can’t be infinite endgame guys. There’ll always be a cap. 10 dungeons, 3 raids, or whatever the number. You look up on net how to clear it and ding, you’ve done all 13 of them in a week. What now? Oh, heroics or hard modes or whatever! But what’s the point? Unless you have a small dick and a large need to compensate for that, what’s the point? I’ve been a hardcore raider multiple times in my life. At times, I would literally wipe for 8 hours in a row! By the time we’re done, I would literally be the only guy from the original group. I would raid 30 hours a week, grind and grind, and spend every waking hour outside of shitting trying to clear all the endgame content. But it’s pointless. It kills you. It kills your desire to play the game. It literally kills it. Running the same content over and over again for 100 times, until you can do it while jacking off, making out with Emma Roberts and finding a cure for cancer and leukemia at the same time. At that point, even leveling alts becomes a chore, because leveling is already a chore in itself. Journey is pointless in today’s MMO’s. It’s all about the destination. But, the reason destination is so alluring is because it seems so far away and unreachable. But not anymore. Destinations have become journeys nowadays. Anything below that is simply something you have to fart through and swallow it like a porn star, with a prideful look on your face. I hate this. From the bottom of my rotten heart. If you love it, I don’t give a shit. You’re loving something that’s rotten, botched down to the point where it doesn’t even matter. No, I’m not a special snowflake. I’m not ‘woe is me’ character. I’m not a stereotypical “OLD IS ALWAYS BETTER!”. I’m just a guy who loves playing MMORPG’s, who loves exploring, meeting new people, forming new friendships that have lasted for nearly ten years. I like randomly running around and finding surprises. I like reaching the destination with the feeling in my gut that the journey was awesome and that I want to do it again. And again. And again. And no matter how satisfying the destination is, it can never replace the road you had to tread through to get there. Never.
Over and out you fucks.